Tuesday, January 10, 2012

Memoirs of a sick chick

I know I've been posting little comments on Facebook about the monster and vi, but let me tell you that's just the half of it.
Now the monster had 11 days off, great for her, hell for me.
She seemed to believe that if she had vacation I did too.  Every night and every morning that woman was in my room.  Constantly needing to talk or watch TV with me, asking to go to the movies, etc.
I woke up one morning and she was outside my room, waiting to hear movement.  I shit you not, she even admitted to having her ear to my door.
They planned on staying a night at the MGM Grand in Connecticut Wednesday night and I planned on enjoying the peace and quiet.  That was not to happen.  I got sick, really sick.  I won't go into details since I'm sure it will gross you out, but it wasn't pretty.  I even had to wake her up at one point at 5:30am.
Before they left I had been in and out of the bathroom to which she was very aware and with my dehydration I couldn't really move from my bed.  She got ready and they left, but before they did monster went downstairs to see Nana and explain my situation.  She told her that I was to get the mail, bring out the trash, and pick up after myself (I was using the barrel alot since I couldn't get to the toilet).  My Nana looked at her and said "Really?  You actually think she's going to be able to get up and go outside let alone clean up her trash? She's sick!"
"Oh you don't think she will have the energy?  Well I would think later she would."
Even my Nana is starting to realize there is something wrong with the monster.  If you see someone who is winded just by standing up, constantly using the bathroom and barrel, mostly at the same time, and can do nothing but sleep, would you expect them to magically gain energy to take out the trash and get the mail?
Are you fucking for real?!
That night was horrible.  I almost had my Nana take me to the hospital and I hate hospitals.  It was bad.  I almost fell down the stairs and then on the way back up almost passed out yet again.  I had to get some Gatorade...something to stop the dehydration.
I informed my Nana later that night about what the monster does, such as staying in my room when I get home from work until 2am or that she'll just sit in here and watch TV every single night.  Also, that she is jealous that I talk to Nana more than her.
The reaction from her was priceless!  There were a couple "What is wrong with her?"  "You've got to be kidding!"  "Now she knows better than that."

I got better as the days went, thankfully I was fine by Saturday so I could spend the night with my panda.  It had been way to long and nothing was going to stop me!
I came home Sunday, slept, did some chores, but felt odd.
I decided to go to bed early on Sunday and make up for the lack of sleep the night before.  Monday, sucked.
Sick. Again.
This time a head cold.  The entire side of my head is blocked.  I'm not fully complaining cus it could certainly be worse with a sore throat or migraine.
I take some Dayquil and Afrin.  Worked great so I decided to stick with it.
Monster again decides it would be a great idea to sit in my room and watch TV when I'm clearly a mess and just want to sit and stare.
Tuesday.  I call out, still sick.  This sucks.  Not only do I hate being sick, but I hate having to stay home.  It's so stressful.
I sleep a few hours and then she comes home.  She comes in my room and asks how I feel.
I say fine and she adds how horrible I sound.
"Do you want something to eat?"
"What are you making?"
"Pork chops, but that may be too much.  Do you want a cheese omelet?"
"Yea, that sounds good.  With toast please."
"Oh I don't know.  You sure? You've had some eggs this week I worry about cholesterol."
"My cholesterol isn't going to sky rocket cus I've had them 3 times in a week!"
"Oh OK, I guess so.  Just cheese?"
"Yea, just cheese or over easy whatever is easier."

Is it me or did that conversation really make no sense?  She was the one who said cheese omelet first right?  She offered the eggs first?
Yea, OK that's what I thought.

She brings my eggs up to me, hands them to me, and says "Now I came home after working all day and made you these so you owe me."
What the fuck?! I owe you??  What the hell do I owe you?  My undying gratitude for making me fucking eggs?  If I knew I'd owe you something for taking care of me I'd have made them my damn self, but you fucking offered!

Later I mention to her that I seem to have a rash on my belly.  She know goes into this spiel about how it's the Dayquil and I've gone through an entire half of the bottle in a day.
Wait, hold the phone.  I look at her and say "What the hell are you talking about?  I took 3 doses yesterday and 3 today, of course it's half a bottle!"
"Isn't that too much?  How many are you supposed to have?"
"4 doses in a day! Read the damn bottle!"
"4? I don't know, are you sure?"


After her bath she comes in and sits on the bed and watches TV for a bit.  She looks at my computer and says "Now I hope those weren't on today."
The screen is black.
"Do you see it on?"
"I don't know.  I don't look."

Oh that's right, it's the "if you call out no computer rule"
Yea.
Thank god she goes to bed earlier than me.
So many reasons I hate being sick, but this house is definitely a huge one.
I almost feel sicker when she's up and around then when I'm alone and calm.
UN-fucking-believable.