I'm not good enough...

Let's go back to Friday...
I had received my monsters letter, but had yet to say anything since I have decided I'm not going to kiss her ass anymore when she's upset.  It gets me nowhere, makes me feel crappy, but makes her happy.  Not exactly ideal.
I came home from work on Friday.  She was folding laundry in the bathroom so I put my things down and walked over to give her a hug.  She immediately tensed up and said we need to talk.  She didn't want to wait until Sunday to discuss the note, she wanted to do it now.
She requested that I move out by July 31.
She then begins to tell me that the reason she is so opinionated is because I never do anything right.  I never make the right decisions.  Choices I have made are wrong and I'm going down the wrong path.  She claims she can tell me things about my "situation", but choses not to because she knows it won't help.
Fine.
I'd prefer her to keep it to herself since most of her knowledge of certain things in my life are not true or she doesn't know the whole story.
She said to me that this year Mother's Day does not exist.  It means nothing to her.  Maybe next year will be better.  Maybe.
Between the mind fuck and the degrading, I come upstairs drained.  Take a shower.  Get in bed and cry till I fall asleep.
Saturday...some things get cleared up, but I'm still left feeling a little empty.  Unsure.  Even a little sad.
She comes home from shopping and was fine.  Good mood.  We chatted a bit and then I left for work.
I come home; again, fine.
Mother's Day...
Oh, mother's day.
She had requested time.  She wanted to "mend" what was broken and not have me on my cell or computer.
I woke up.  Stared at the ceiling willing the migraine away.  Apparently my body knew what it was in for before I even woke up.
Finally I got out of bed, separated my laundry, brought it down to the machine, and went out on the porch.
I sat down, read through the paper with both parents, had a cup of coffee.
Switched my laundry to the dryer, went back upstairs to strip and make my bed, went back down and sat on the outside porch with the monster.  I was out there about an hour talking about my friend's upcoming wedding and all I had to get ready for.  Laundry was done so I put in another load and put away the first.
Now up until this point, she was somewhat fine.  All of a sudden it's the cold shoulder.  Hardly talking.  Sniffling from hidden crying in the bathroom.
WHAT DID I DO NOW???
Everyday I ask myself this.
I helped her with dinner and then after we ate I went to visit my Nana.  Back upstairs, monster takes a bath and heads downstairs to sleep on the couch since she has to get up at 4am.
Cold all night.
I truly have no clue what I did.  I gave her what she wanted.  Time. I tried.
One of the problems, my Nana told me about, is that monster complains that she has never seen me cry.  Tell me why exactly I would want to do that in front of her?  Everything I do is wrong, right?
So as I'm writing this I hear crying coming from downstairs...I go down and hold her while she howls.
We talk for about 2 hours in the dark.  She's depressed and doesn't know what went wrong.  Throughout the conversation I'm thinking about my life at that moment.  With her and other parts of my life.  I just don't feel like I'm good enough.  I guess that's what it comes down to.  All my feelings in a ball come down to that one phrase....I'm not good enough.
At the end of it all she agrees with me about trying to start slowly and rebuilding a relationship.  I'm drained and tired.  She's still depressed and hesitantly decides to go to sleep.
Finally alone...sitting in silence, I just want to walk away from it all.