This past week has been an emotional cocktail...it's a never ending roller coaster ride.
Between the frustration of my monster and vi with constant questions, concerns, comments about the wedding, my schedule, my truck (needs repairs)...I never got to breathe.
Then working overtime, unplanned at that...trying to be happy and upbeat during the week for my friend, having my heart broken yet again, and then getting no sleep before the wedding and carrying through with the actual day. It has been hard to say the least.
So to begin:
My best friend got married on Saturday and I was the Maid of Honor. It was stressful, expensive, tiring, but it was all worth it to see the smile on her face as she walked down the aisle.
All weddings are expensive no matter what, but the stress is ridiculous!
I'm talking for myself of course. Between having to walk down that aisle with eyes on you, fearing each step I'll land flat on my face, then being introduced at the reception, to having to give a speech in front of 160 people! Thank god I didn't pee my pants.
My stress and fear was nothing compared to hers, I'm sure. But her and I both know she made a wonderful decision in marrying her man. He's an amazing guy. They are 2 peas in a pod.
They are now in Sicily enjoying an incredible honeymoon. Jealous is an understatement. She better get me a souvenir!
My truck needs about $2000.00 worth of work. I'm willing to pay cus I love it and monthly car payments are out of the question since I want to get the hell out of dodge as soon as possible. There are little perks that have made it a tolerable, such as a discount from Nissan since my father used to work there and still has friends in the right places, and my rental. I got a Cube! I basically am driving Cindi's car, right down to the color. I love it. Super cute, roomy, and turns on a dime. Smoooooooth ride.
Of course, the vi puts in his 2 cents every time he sees me.
"It's ugly."
"Ya know I hate that car. Why are you driving it?"
Really? Why am I driving it? It's a little thing called a job...have to have one. Douche.
It's also tough lately since I've entered a kind of depressive state. No matter what I do, it's a chore. I just want to stay in bed. I cry at the drop of a hat. I'm lucky if I can stomach 1 meal in a day (one hell of a weight lose plan!). Now, I do understand that what is in my head may be the opposite of reality. I analyze things to death. It's a huge flaw I have and most women have it. It comes on when there is no communication, nothing to dowse the flames of doubt. I guess to ready yourself for the worst is always the best thing to do. It's hard though, you can't just flip a switch and pretend everything is fine. If life was that easy we wouldn't appreciate the little things it has to offer.
Now if you are chomping at the bit for info on the Monster, there's plenty. She's sporadically jumped the crazy fence numerous times over the last week. I'm not sure if the woman is getting Alzheimer's or not, but how many times do you have to tell someone your in a wedding that week before they actually remember. She's a goldfish who's surprised by the plastic castle every time. 3 second memory.
Then to top that off, to call me each day, even when I'm with the bride. Are you serious? Can you not handle my absence for 1 day? She even admitted she wanted to call me during the ceremony...someone needs a swift kick in the ass.
I arrived back home after the wedding and informed my monster that I had not slept for 24 hrs. I was exhausted and wanted to go right to bed. Well, that wasn't acceptable. She started commenting on how wonderful I looked, why didn't I do my makeup everyday cus I look like a model and would get so much more attention if I just took care of myself more, was that really how Cindi decided to have my hair cus it was so flat (rain does that moron), Oh look at your nails, etc.
I put a little attitude into comments and that finally gave her the hint cus the next words out of her mouth were...
"Go upstairs, go to bed. That's what you want so go."
Thanks! I appreciate your concern...off I go!
5 hours later she's waking me up only for me to shower and fall back to sleep for 10 more hours.
I have a little break from both of them Thursday night since they are going to MGM Foxwoods for the night, but that really does me no good since I'm working anyway. Bleck.
I guess just knowing they are gone will make all the difference. I can only hope.
I wish so many things in my life were easier. I'm sure one day they will be, but for now I can only hope, pray, and fight.
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