If you've never had a migraine it's hard to understand what someone is going through. The pain can range from sharp throbbing to the possibility you may witness your eye popping out of your head and running down the street to find a safe place to hide, extreme light sensitivity, emotional breaks (mostly crying), exhaustion, and sometimes neediness (for me this comes in the form of needing to be held). It's different for everyone, but the pain itself is usually the same; relentless.
I have been blessed with chronic migraines...you're jealous, I know, but not everyone can handle this special kind of awesomeness. I've had MRI's, CAT Scans, been on prescription meds, etc. Nothing shows up and nothing works except good old Excedrin Migraine and quiet.
It's torture. Living with the monster and vi doesn't make it any easier.
When I lived on my own with jello I got them frequently and they were horrible. I was at least able to stay home, rest, hide under the covers, and at night jello would keep the lights off and only use candles until I was able to handle anything brighter.
Living in the cave is another story. I'm on edge all the time, I "relax" at work, god forbid I'm running late getting ready for work because then vi comes upstairs and bangs the door trying to figure out if I've died.
The monster is clueless. She's never had a migraine before and never really pays attention when I try to explain them to her. I've called her out on this many times before and she has admitted that she doesn't listen to me most of the time. Acceptance is the first step, right?
I call her today to explain that I'm in pain. I may stay home if it doesn't get better. I have only stayed home once since moving here in November because I can't handle being here when I'm sick. They don't leave me alone. She's checks on me every hour, offers me food even after I've told her I can't stomach it right now, makes comments asking why am I in the dark, comes over and rubs my head....
ATTENTION! Unless you are requested to do so, when someone has a migraine you DO NOT touch their head!! That's like sticking a finger in an open wound! You only do this if you want to lose an appendage.
Sometimes you need the comfort, but most times you just want to be in the dark alone. She doesn't get it. It never sticks no matter how many times I tell her.
So, I force myself to go to work. I load up on Excedrin Migraine, caffeine, a hope, and a prayer. Most days it works even though I get the shakes and it becomes a game trying to type, but hell the pain is gone. Other days, I'm not so lucky and I try to make it to 9:30p-10p when I know she went to bed and I leave work early.
Those of you who get migraines...I'm sorry.
Those of you who don't...you're lucky.
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