The purge

The monsters birthday was this past Saturday.  

No cake, no dinner, just wanted me to take her to Chunky's to see The Purge 2.  Fine.

We go, but it seemed weird.  I know she has aggravated me, big surprise, but we sit and watch the movie.  She's happy and all is quiet in the realm.

Except during the ride home.

We get in a small argument about Tank and how she does not like him.  I bring to her attention that she was the one who wanted him to get past their argument LAST YEAR and he did as she asked.  So now she can't get over it?  She stutters and eventually admits that no she can't and she never will.  She throws my dad into it saying he only puts up with Tank because of me....yea....what she doesn't realize is that my dad likes Tank and pretends not to around her.  

That same evening after dropping her grudge holding ass off, Tank and I head over to our friend Scoops house.  He and his wife, whom I will call Frog,  had dealt with a pretty hard situation earlier, which I will not go into here since it is not my place to talk about.  

While talking with Frog my cell phone starts to blow up....friends asking me if I had heard from anyone...

No, but now I'm worried...

I find out that a friend had decided to take her own life that morning.  

I still can't seem to find the words.  

The only thing I do know is that she was one of those people who would make time for anyone, listen when needed, help always, and smiled at everyone.  She was a beautiful soul, a delicate flower both in name and spirit.

Saying she will be missed is an understatement.  There is a hole that will be left.  

The monster went away to Foxwoods Sunday night, she called when she returned Monday afternoon.  She asked how my weekend was and I told her it was pretty rough, she then replies:

"Oh I know what you mean!  I had the weirdest encounter checking out.  Guess who was standing right next to me?  Jello!  He gave me such a big and long hug."

She continued and described the meeting in more detail than I cared to know.  After about 5 minutes she says, "So why was yours rough?"

My answer...."A friend of mine killed herself."

Silence.

Stumbling of words.

Then finally an "Oh."

Yea OH!  I could give a flying shit that you hugged my ex-husband.  You talk about him so god damn much why don't you see if you can adopt him!!  It's complete bullshit!  It's been 4-5 years since my divorce...Get The Fuck Over It!

She emailed me today saying she was "thinking of me."  yay.

I figured I would let her in on some positive news and told her that plus size model London Andrews had hired me to assist with fan emails.  I am basically a part time assistant.  She was happy, but really sounded like she had no clue what the hell I was talking about.  

I hung up with her and the next thing I know I'm getting an email from her saying how it's a bad idea to work for her and I shouldn't get involved.  

Why?

"She's a p--n star!  gross."

"No actually she's not and even if she was she's not anymore and wants me to get rid of any emails/requests regarding that."

"So what are they a fan of then??"

"Her modeling!!! Christ, I talk to photographers for her as well...some of the same places that (insert specific friend here) shoots for!"

"No comment.  Keep this one to yourself."

I'm gonna strangle a bitch.  

I'm so fed up with her shit I'm choking on it!

Why is everything I do criticized?  

She also loves to talk about the single men she knows that are my age or the men that have lots of money and are young and buying a house.  Good for them! In case you missed the TANK of a man I have...I'm good!

There has got to be a law that states once your parents start to become insane you can force them on meds!

Bitch needs a shrink and I think I may need one myself!  

I'm starting to the The Purge is a pretty good idea....

All Aboard....The Crazy Train!

Hi.
Yea I know it's been forever.  I'm not going to make an excuse cus the truth is I didn't feel like writing.
Not for lack of material of course, cus alot has been going on. 

The big news is that I'm going back to school!  As of June 23, I will be a college student majoring in Forensic Psychology.  
Whoa, yea, I know, but it's something I've always been interested in.  I like peeking into the crazy criminal mind and figuring out what makes it tick.
I'm ridiculously excited!
My man, Tank, is my cheerleader as well as my wonderful friends. I can do this!  My goal is getting my Masters at some point.

On other fronts, in a few months I may be a stepmother.  Tanks kids (there are 3) don't want to move back to Alabama with their mother.  They moved there about 3 years ago and just came back last summer, now she wants to move back.  Neither Tank, nor I, want them to leave and they don't want to go.
So, we may get all 3, 2, or 1.  Kinda taking it as it comes. 
I love those kids.
I look forward to being a step-mom legally one day.  Already planning on taking the eldest one to her first concert.

Plus, they love me, they really really love me!

Yea, yea, I know, but it's so nice to hear!  Especially from kids who have been through so much in their young lives.  

Ok, enough about me, you want Monster.  I know you do.  You can't fool me.

She has been odd.  Sliding back into her norm, but more odd as of late.
So her and Tank got into a fight last year, not sure if I mentioned it, but she wanted to get past it.  He eventually let it go, but lo and behold, she has not, even though she states she has.  SHE LIES.

She is acting the same way with Tank as she did with Jello before we were married.  She thinks I can do better and that we will never have anything.  Same old song and dance.
It's frustrating and the more I hear it the more I try to distance myself from her.

Now in the same breathe as her geriatric ravings, she wants to plan a night away in Boston for her and I, also a mother/daughter trip to New Orleans.  

Are you fucking kidding me??
In what world is it okay to down my man, who is wonderful to me and has fixed my heart beyond what I could have imagined, and then think I want to go on vacation with you?

To quote "my person" who I will call....Whitetrash Kardashian, If my monster could marry me herself, she would. 
Scary, but pretty close to the truth.
She is the type of person where no one is good enough.  You could be Prince William, but she would find something wrong with you and it's always financial with her!

She likes to throw things at me that could be quite painful if I actually cared.
Her favorite thing is to wave her money at me, like, "OH, we would have bought you a house if you weren't with 'him'" or "If you still lived here, we were going to build you a 3 season porch off of your back door."

Seriously?  Does it make you happy to act like such a douche? Is there a brain tumor making you act like an ass or is this normal behavior?

Such is my lot in life to have a crazy ass monster.  Oh well, Tank and I are on the same page and want the same things.

We will reach our dreams, with or without her help.