When your sick it usually helps to relax, get some rest, take some meds, etc. When living in the cave none of this is really possible.
I went to the doctor for my yearly prodding last Monday. The vi had made a huge spectacle of my throat looking swollen the night before so I asked the Doc to check it. My thyroid was a little swollen, but no real concern.
Wrong.
For the next 2 days I felt like I had joined the circus and decided to swallow glass for a living.
So much pain from such a small space. Tuesday was bad, Wednesday was worse.
I woke up at 8am, actually I was forced awake by the pain, had to run hysterically crying to my Nana's downstairs and have her go to the store and get me meds.
I slept all day, both days. Whenever the urge hit me, I slept. I couldn't at night so I had to when I could.
Finally the pain stopped, but the voice left. I told both parents that I did not want to talk since it hurt and I wanted to rest my voice so it would come back.
Yea, this plan didn't work for them. All though they had agreed it was a good one.
Every comment and question that came out of their months had to be answered verbally. Long explanations were needed since their not exactly bright.
What is it with people...when you tell them you can't or don't want to do something...they try as hard as they can to make you do it.
Coughing fits started at night and in the mornings. The monster has ridden my ass for days. Apparently she has a PhD. Who knew.
On Saturday the monster went out for the weekly shopping spree with my Nana. She returned home with the smallest bottle of Robitussin I have ever seen. Seriously, this is tiny. Looked like one dose.
She told me to take some to stop my cough since I don't listen to her and I don't take care of myself.
I took the dose to shut her up and told her I have to take another one in 4 hours. Her response...
"No I don't want that leaving the house. It's for all of us and I don't want you taking it to work."
OK, so let me get this straight. You get the cough meds for me, since I'm the only one sick. You have been complaining that I don't take anything. I have to retake it in 4 hours, yet you don't want me to take it to work so I can take it??
Anyone else as confused as I am?
So my weekend was filled with sighs, complaints, side glances, and comments every time I coughed. I am now a closet cough-er.
I refuse to cough around her. I can't take it. It's a battle of wills.
Finally today I woke up and my throat was swollen again and the coughing hasn't stopped (Robitussin works my ass)
I called the Dr. again and got in within the hour.
I am now on prescription cough pills and penicillin.
Once I told the monster she was beyond thrilled.
"I can't believe it! You actually went to the doctor. I told you! I'm so proud of you."
"See mom, I can take care of myself."
Snarky giggle...."Oh I don't know about that. Oh well I can't say much cus you actually went out to the doctor. Now did you take your medicine?"
"Yes, I told you about 3 times in the last 15 minutes." this was followed by eye roll.
"Are you sure? You better take them. What time did you take them?"
"I took it at 3pm. I can't take another until tomorrow. The penicillin is once a day."
"Oh my god! That means you have to get up at 3am to take another one! My god Melissa why did you take it so late?" The monster has started to shake and breathe heavily in exasperation.
"Really mom? A day is 24 hours not 12. I'll take another when I wake up tomorrow."
"Oh god. I don't know. That doesn't sound right. Oh Jesus now I'm gonna be paranoid."
"Yea, OK. I'm going upstairs."
Peace for now...they are downstairs commenting to each other about the news. I don't know why they even bother. Neither one of them really understand present day and the vi is deaf. What's the point?
I don't get it. I don't think I ever will and I'm really happy about that.
Side note about the vi:
He is confused as to why I want HBO and Showtime on my TV. He asked me what I watch cus every time he turns HBO on it's some naked lady.
Yea, he's not really watching normal HBO. It's Late Night HBO On Demand. Which I believe he has accidentally paid for without realizing it numerous times. His excuse....I thought Late Night meant Johnny Carson.
Um, not for years vi. Late Night to normal people means porn.
I tried to explain to him over and over again, but of course he's deaf. I repeated myself in front of the monster. Oh the face was priceless on her.
He finally got it at dinner when she was yelling at him (so he could hear her) that HBO is on normal TV, he doesn't need to use On Demand.
I can't wait to move the hell out.
Monday, March 28, 2011
Sunday, March 27, 2011
Love and Marriage
So let me begin by saying I'm the type of girl who wants a guy that will be a mix of protective, jealous, proud, and trustful. I want a guy that will stop another guy from making a move, but be proud to show me off. I'm not asking for much...just to feel wanted, needed, that I'm important to someone who loves me.
Now this isn't a bash against my ex-husband by any means. He was and is a great guy, but things went sour as alot of relationships do. He lacked a few of the traits I like, but that's not what got to us in the end. One of the traits he lacked was the jealous/protectiveness, no backbone so to speak; so let's call him Jello.
Jello and I met about 12 years ago. He had a crush on me from afar and eventually it made it's way to me. We were set up by a manager at the store we worked at.
Our relationship was up and down; admittedly I was clingy. Not good.
We broke up numerous times. The longest was 8 months; only to get back together after a horrible car accident he had been in.
After that only one more break up and then we stayed together.
We first lived in an apartment with 5 people. That was interesting to say the least.
Jello and I had so many financial issues that we had to get the monster involved to help get us on a budget. Big Mistake. She jumped in with verve! Knew everything about everything.
Between Jello getting upset about money he couldn't spend cus it was going into savings to monster complaining to me that Jello is going to screw me over money wise, I was at a breaking point.
Between Jello getting upset about money he couldn't spend cus it was going into savings to monster complaining to me that Jello is going to screw me over money wise, I was at a breaking point.
The monster eventually got us secure enough where we could finally afford our own apartment and Jello could get me an engagement ring.
He proposed before we moved. We were happy and all those things.
We got our own place and it was great!
Things seemed to be moving in the right direction. I mean this is what couples are supposed to do right? Get on board financially together, get engaged, get an apartment...good. Great. Not so much.
Things were great for awhile. Got a nice savings account going for both of us which we were going to combine after the wedding to get a house.
Wedding drama was horrible with the monster and vi, but we got through it.
Honeymoon time in San Francisco and Napa.
Napa was wonderful. We rented a convertible and drove in the sun through the vineyards. Wine tastings and great food. I got sick and we spent a day in the hotel room. I felt bad, but there was nothing I could do.
We moved on to San Fran.
Once there Jello checked his checking account to which all our money was in. This included the wedding checks he had deposited before we left.
In Napa we had plenty of money, San Fran....negative $800.
He lost his mind. Called the bank and they informed him that since my signature wasn't on the checks as well they had to remove them. He was a mess. Crying, screaming, snot everywhere. I couldn't understand why he was so upset when I could easily see a solution.
When he started swearing at the guy on the phone I took the phone away from him and spoke with the banker. I requested that the overdraft be removed as a courtesy and he agreed. I then asked for money to be transferred from Jello's savings to his checking in the amount of the wedding checks. The banker then stated he did not see a savings account. I said "Yes, there is a savings. It's about $5,000"
Banker "No, there is only the checking and a savings account that was closed a while back."
Me "We'll call you back."
I hung up the phone.
Jello was in the bathroom on the floor crying. I walked in and calmly asked "Why is he saying there is no savings account?"
Jello then proceeded to tell me that 5 months before the wedding he started spending the money in the account on random things. Finally after numerous warnings the bank shut down the account and the left over balance of $500 was transferred to his savings. He then figured well since it's in my checking I'll spend it.
I was shaking, but I stayed extremely calm to the point where he was asking me to yell at him. I didn't.
I think shock had taken over.
I asked him why he didn't tell me and his answer was that he was afraid I wouldn't marry him. Um, yea, that is a very valid fear.
He handed me his wedding band and went into the bathroom. I waited a bit and then followed only to find him testing the sharpness of his razor on his thumb.
"What the hell are you doing?"
"You don't need to be with me. I'm a fuck up. You should just leave me here and go back home"
Great, suicide always solved everything. Ugh.
I'm too old for this shit. I've put up with his lies about money for years. Now, here we are stuck in California with no money on our honeymoon which is turning out to be a nightmare. I just got married for god sake. What am I supposed to do??
I went back to sit on the bed. He came out a few minutes later and sat on a chair. I made him call his parents and tell them what happened. He was terrified, but I made him. I didn't mess up and I sure wasn't going to fix his mess. He called them and they deposited money into his account to get us through the rest of the trip. I told him that I will control every penny until that money is back. I will dominate his life until he pays that money back. He agreed.
OK.
We get back home. Things went as planned for awhile until I found out he was hiding money again. Caught him hiding interest checks that came in from his Discover Card. Who did I marry? What did I do?
Seriously?
My loss of trust for him tainted everything else. I lost any feelings of intimacy, respect, any want of a future with him. I stayed faithful for a year after our marriage.
In December of 2009 I reconnected with someone that I had had a crush on during my teen years. We talked and the friendship was rekindled pretty quickly.
We finally met face to face in Feb. 2010 and had our first kiss. Talked almost everyday after that. He told me he loved me on Easter. I felt a fire I never had felt before. I still do to this day.
Now don't get me wrong, I tried to come up with ideas on how to fix my marriage, but 12 years of bullshit wears on a person. Then to basically be slapped in the face on your honeymoon?
I wanted out. I had done all I could do. When your so fed up you can't even kiss your spouse, it's go time.
In July, I moved him out of "our" bedroom and into the office. We stayed as roommates until finally in Sept. 2010 we filed for divorce. Right after I decided to tell him about my boyfriend and he then proceeded to tell me about his girlfriend.
We lived together until November, when our lease was up, and that is when I moved into the cave.
The night before I left, Jello was supposed to stay and help me pack up a few extra things. That didn't work out as planned.
He came home all stressed out saying he wasn't staying and needed to leave. I told him he couldn't cus he promised to help me. He said "Fine, what do I need to do?"
I told him what needed to be done. He did it with speed I haven't seen in years. Once completed he said "OK anything else?"
"No...."
"OK, I'm leaving." He got his coat on, filled up his backpack with clothes, opened the front door and looked back at me...."It's been fun." and off he went to spend the night with his girlfriend.
It's been fun?? After 12 years...it's been fun? Are you kidding me?
I cried so hard my friend Cindi, who was there for support, had to hold me to fall asleep.
Well, moving day came and I went from sad to pissed. With some friendly provoking I allowed a friend to take Jello's TV trays, I emptied the last of his Patron into a water bottle and refilled the Patron bottle with water, and then to top it off I took the last wedding photo we had out, put a sticky note over his face that said "it's been fun" and put that picture smack in the middle of the empty living room.
I've only seen Jello once since I moved out. He said he had been angry about how I left.
How I left?
I quickly reminded him about his lovely walk out and he didn't remember ever doing or saying what he did.
Yea, OK. I know you have short term memory loss from the car accident, but you don't just say something like that and not remember. I call shenanigans.
So here I am. Sitting in the cave. I don't regret my decision. I am a little sad that 12 years of knowing each other, of friendship, is now gone.
But, I know he's happy and that makes me happy.
Things were great for awhile. Got a nice savings account going for both of us which we were going to combine after the wedding to get a house.
Wedding drama was horrible with the monster and vi, but we got through it.
Honeymoon time in San Francisco and Napa.
Napa was wonderful. We rented a convertible and drove in the sun through the vineyards. Wine tastings and great food. I got sick and we spent a day in the hotel room. I felt bad, but there was nothing I could do.
We moved on to San Fran.
Once there Jello checked his checking account to which all our money was in. This included the wedding checks he had deposited before we left.
In Napa we had plenty of money, San Fran....negative $800.
He lost his mind. Called the bank and they informed him that since my signature wasn't on the checks as well they had to remove them. He was a mess. Crying, screaming, snot everywhere. I couldn't understand why he was so upset when I could easily see a solution.
When he started swearing at the guy on the phone I took the phone away from him and spoke with the banker. I requested that the overdraft be removed as a courtesy and he agreed. I then asked for money to be transferred from Jello's savings to his checking in the amount of the wedding checks. The banker then stated he did not see a savings account. I said "Yes, there is a savings. It's about $5,000"
Banker "No, there is only the checking and a savings account that was closed a while back."
Me "We'll call you back."
I hung up the phone.
Jello was in the bathroom on the floor crying. I walked in and calmly asked "Why is he saying there is no savings account?"
Jello then proceeded to tell me that 5 months before the wedding he started spending the money in the account on random things. Finally after numerous warnings the bank shut down the account and the left over balance of $500 was transferred to his savings. He then figured well since it's in my checking I'll spend it.
I was shaking, but I stayed extremely calm to the point where he was asking me to yell at him. I didn't.
I think shock had taken over.
I asked him why he didn't tell me and his answer was that he was afraid I wouldn't marry him. Um, yea, that is a very valid fear.
He handed me his wedding band and went into the bathroom. I waited a bit and then followed only to find him testing the sharpness of his razor on his thumb.
"What the hell are you doing?"
"You don't need to be with me. I'm a fuck up. You should just leave me here and go back home"
Great, suicide always solved everything. Ugh.
I'm too old for this shit. I've put up with his lies about money for years. Now, here we are stuck in California with no money on our honeymoon which is turning out to be a nightmare. I just got married for god sake. What am I supposed to do??
I went back to sit on the bed. He came out a few minutes later and sat on a chair. I made him call his parents and tell them what happened. He was terrified, but I made him. I didn't mess up and I sure wasn't going to fix his mess. He called them and they deposited money into his account to get us through the rest of the trip. I told him that I will control every penny until that money is back. I will dominate his life until he pays that money back. He agreed.
OK.
We get back home. Things went as planned for awhile until I found out he was hiding money again. Caught him hiding interest checks that came in from his Discover Card. Who did I marry? What did I do?
Seriously?
My loss of trust for him tainted everything else. I lost any feelings of intimacy, respect, any want of a future with him. I stayed faithful for a year after our marriage.
In December of 2009 I reconnected with someone that I had had a crush on during my teen years. We talked and the friendship was rekindled pretty quickly.
We finally met face to face in Feb. 2010 and had our first kiss. Talked almost everyday after that. He told me he loved me on Easter. I felt a fire I never had felt before. I still do to this day.
Now don't get me wrong, I tried to come up with ideas on how to fix my marriage, but 12 years of bullshit wears on a person. Then to basically be slapped in the face on your honeymoon?
I wanted out. I had done all I could do. When your so fed up you can't even kiss your spouse, it's go time.
In July, I moved him out of "our" bedroom and into the office. We stayed as roommates until finally in Sept. 2010 we filed for divorce. Right after I decided to tell him about my boyfriend and he then proceeded to tell me about his girlfriend.
We lived together until November, when our lease was up, and that is when I moved into the cave.
The night before I left, Jello was supposed to stay and help me pack up a few extra things. That didn't work out as planned.
He came home all stressed out saying he wasn't staying and needed to leave. I told him he couldn't cus he promised to help me. He said "Fine, what do I need to do?"
I told him what needed to be done. He did it with speed I haven't seen in years. Once completed he said "OK anything else?"
"No...."
"OK, I'm leaving." He got his coat on, filled up his backpack with clothes, opened the front door and looked back at me...."It's been fun." and off he went to spend the night with his girlfriend.
It's been fun?? After 12 years...it's been fun? Are you kidding me?
I cried so hard my friend Cindi, who was there for support, had to hold me to fall asleep.
Well, moving day came and I went from sad to pissed. With some friendly provoking I allowed a friend to take Jello's TV trays, I emptied the last of his Patron into a water bottle and refilled the Patron bottle with water, and then to top it off I took the last wedding photo we had out, put a sticky note over his face that said "it's been fun" and put that picture smack in the middle of the empty living room.
I've only seen Jello once since I moved out. He said he had been angry about how I left.
How I left?
I quickly reminded him about his lovely walk out and he didn't remember ever doing or saying what he did.
Yea, OK. I know you have short term memory loss from the car accident, but you don't just say something like that and not remember. I call shenanigans.
So here I am. Sitting in the cave. I don't regret my decision. I am a little sad that 12 years of knowing each other, of friendship, is now gone.
But, I know he's happy and that makes me happy.
Monday, March 21, 2011
I was born...I grew up.
My entrance into the monster's cave began on December 13, 1978. What may explain some of her severe psychosis is that I was the only baby to survive out of her 3. Now, I have complained and poked fun at the monster, but in all truth she is the strongest woman I know. I get my strength, kindness, and no bullshit attitude from her. The crazy, thank god, she did not pass on.
The monster has worked her bum off throughout my life. She has been a house keeper, college student, and now a secretary. She worked so hard in my younger years that her health now isn't so great. She has lost her taste and smell due to working with ammonia. She has severe arthritis from cleaning on her hands and knees. So many aliments so little time.
I don't know my biological father Ray, but I do know what I got from him. Everything that shocks her. My relaxed way to look at things, my open mind, etc.
The vi came into the picture when I was 1. They met at McDonald's when my shoe fell off and he came over dressed in his Naval uniform, bent down and put my shoe back on. The rest is history.
Growing up was not easy by any means and my explanation will be somewhat detailed. Why not right? If I'm writing about them, no holds barred.
The vi has had a chemical imbalance his whole life. I could time his freak outs almost perfectly. In the beginning he would lose it every few months or so. Go through the house smashing everything in his path, swearing at the top of his lungs, threatening random things. I would hide in my room, either under my covers, in the closet, or on one side of my bed. Always holding my dog tight. It was scary to say the least, but we didn't know it was chemical at the time. I do remember hearing him leave and then opening my bedroom door to a rug of broken glass and my mother screaming at me to stay in my room. Once she picked everything up I ventured to the living room and found the couch overturned and the coffee table broken in half. Good times.
This type of behavior continued, but became few and far between. I started counting every 5 years. He finally got medical help when I was about 17. I was at my breaking point! I told my mother I leave or he does. Well, it was him. She went into the bedroom and lost her shit. Told him to get out. He started to cry and said he will go to the doctor and find out what is wrong. He got on meds and has pretty much been fine ever since. Except for the last freak out which was about 2 or 3 years ago during Christmas. He had waited until my ex-husband and I arrived. He got off the couch, came into the kitchen, called my mother a few choice words, then left. It was odd to say the least and the old feelings of wanting to run and hide came back. He has never hurt my mother physically so that was a saving grace.
Me on the other hand...not so much. The worst situation was when he gave me a black eye over ice cream.
Strangely enough you would think I wouldn't have much of a relationship with him now, but since I moved back we have been pretty good to each other.
Myself? Well, growing up was tough. Fat girl in school is not fun. In fact, it's hell. When people talk about being bullied it makes me wonder if they really know what it's like. Waking up in the morning dreading what lies ahead, faking being sick so there may be a chance you won't have to go, depression to the point of suicidal feelings, crying when ever you get the chance to be alone. You don't know unless you've lived it.
I guess I could say going through it has made me who I am today, but truth is I made me who I am today. I have finally learned to like myself. It's been years, but I have arrived.
I feel sexy, beautiful, I'm in love, and even in my current predicament I'm hopeful for my future even if it's uncertain right now. I'm following my heart down a path where it could get broken, but I'm taking that chance. I'm trusting in myself to make the right decision. I'm putting my faith and trust in the person who has my heart.
I've been through alot in my life, more than most. I feel that it's a blessing to still have the ability to trust, love, and hope. I haven't turned to stone and I don't see that happening anytime soon.
The monster has worked her bum off throughout my life. She has been a house keeper, college student, and now a secretary. She worked so hard in my younger years that her health now isn't so great. She has lost her taste and smell due to working with ammonia. She has severe arthritis from cleaning on her hands and knees. So many aliments so little time.
I don't know my biological father Ray, but I do know what I got from him. Everything that shocks her. My relaxed way to look at things, my open mind, etc.
The vi came into the picture when I was 1. They met at McDonald's when my shoe fell off and he came over dressed in his Naval uniform, bent down and put my shoe back on. The rest is history.
Growing up was not easy by any means and my explanation will be somewhat detailed. Why not right? If I'm writing about them, no holds barred.
The vi has had a chemical imbalance his whole life. I could time his freak outs almost perfectly. In the beginning he would lose it every few months or so. Go through the house smashing everything in his path, swearing at the top of his lungs, threatening random things. I would hide in my room, either under my covers, in the closet, or on one side of my bed. Always holding my dog tight. It was scary to say the least, but we didn't know it was chemical at the time. I do remember hearing him leave and then opening my bedroom door to a rug of broken glass and my mother screaming at me to stay in my room. Once she picked everything up I ventured to the living room and found the couch overturned and the coffee table broken in half. Good times.
This type of behavior continued, but became few and far between. I started counting every 5 years. He finally got medical help when I was about 17. I was at my breaking point! I told my mother I leave or he does. Well, it was him. She went into the bedroom and lost her shit. Told him to get out. He started to cry and said he will go to the doctor and find out what is wrong. He got on meds and has pretty much been fine ever since. Except for the last freak out which was about 2 or 3 years ago during Christmas. He had waited until my ex-husband and I arrived. He got off the couch, came into the kitchen, called my mother a few choice words, then left. It was odd to say the least and the old feelings of wanting to run and hide came back. He has never hurt my mother physically so that was a saving grace.
Me on the other hand...not so much. The worst situation was when he gave me a black eye over ice cream.
Strangely enough you would think I wouldn't have much of a relationship with him now, but since I moved back we have been pretty good to each other.
Myself? Well, growing up was tough. Fat girl in school is not fun. In fact, it's hell. When people talk about being bullied it makes me wonder if they really know what it's like. Waking up in the morning dreading what lies ahead, faking being sick so there may be a chance you won't have to go, depression to the point of suicidal feelings, crying when ever you get the chance to be alone. You don't know unless you've lived it.
I guess I could say going through it has made me who I am today, but truth is I made me who I am today. I have finally learned to like myself. It's been years, but I have arrived.
I feel sexy, beautiful, I'm in love, and even in my current predicament I'm hopeful for my future even if it's uncertain right now. I'm following my heart down a path where it could get broken, but I'm taking that chance. I'm trusting in myself to make the right decision. I'm putting my faith and trust in the person who has my heart.
I've been through alot in my life, more than most. I feel that it's a blessing to still have the ability to trust, love, and hope. I haven't turned to stone and I don't see that happening anytime soon.
Thursday, March 17, 2011
Well Behaved...
Today was shopping day.
Yes, I decided to go with her after some advice. Figured she has to behave in public plus I'll get a free lunch out of the deal.
So the day begins with me getting up, dressed, and downstairs by 11:30am. The monster is on the porch with the vi talking about something I wasn't interested in listening to. I was obviously ready with pocketbook on my shoulder and sweater jacket on my arm. She seemed a little cold, but I didn't bother in asking what her problem was. She waits a bit and lets it get somewhat awkward before looking at me and asking "So are you ready or you want to wait a bit and grab something for breakfast?"
What part of me standing here with jacket and bag gave you in the impression I wanted breakfast?
So off we go!
Guess where we went first?
Come on....you can figure it out...
That's right!
The trusty, thorn in my side, bane of my present existence....The Salvation Army!
Just walking into this place makes me itchy. But, she's like a kid in a candy store. Oooo-ing and Aaaaa-ing at every turn.
Gasping "Oh Melis...Look at this! $1.00!!" this was at almost every yellow ticketed item, ugly or not.
Then she starts chatting with the employees. They know her by name. Holy F this is embarrassing.
She finally calms down and bolts to the jean rack. "You take that side and I'll take the other!"
Off we go.
She's pulling jean after jean off the rack and filling the mini carriage. I've gotten half way and found nothing.
Of course this is clearly me revolting and refusing to chose any worn/used pair of jeans. Damn my head is itchy.
Finally I see one pair I can tolerate and I take it off the rack. She sees this and has almost a victorious smile on her face. Crap.
We meet in the middle and she then has me move to the hideous shirt rack located directly behind the worn/used jean rack.
I, obviously and purposely, find nothing.
She has me go to the changing room which is a closet next to the cashiers' stand. Now let me explain this ridiculous scenario.
This room is legit a closet with a saloon style door which is clearly broken and needs to be rigged to stay closed. There are men standing in line and even though I am beginning to be proud of what my mama gave me, I don't chose to just show it off to the world.
I pushed and shoved at the doors until I made them stay shut.
I try on the sad pile of jeans and low and behold....none fit over my voluptuous behind!
Except the one pair I chose.
So I step out of the room to my mother staring hopefully at me. "These fit."
"Oh great! My turn!"
Sigh...I wait. God damn I'm itchy!
Finally we pay and leave.
Off to a real store...Fashion Bug.
Amazingly, since I left the Army, my itching has stopped.
I load up on jeans and shirts at the Bug!
She starts to go nuts...shoes, shirts, jeans, shorts, etc..."What else do you need?"
We get to the cashier who makes sure we are wearing green so we get 20% extra off. She then proceeds to talk my mother into opening a secondary charge to get more off the purchase. Way to spend money you don't need to monster!
I walk out feeling great! Mel 1...Monster 0
We drive over to Sonic for lunch and as we wait she turns to me and says:
"Since you didn't bitch today I'm going to let you have more of your bonus."
What? Did she really just say that?
Here girl! Here's your treat!
Groan....
I ignore her.
All in all...not a bad day. No arguing, no real annoyance.
Good days make me stop and rethink that maybe this isn't so bad, but then reality always comes back and destroys you all over again.
Yes, I decided to go with her after some advice. Figured she has to behave in public plus I'll get a free lunch out of the deal.
So the day begins with me getting up, dressed, and downstairs by 11:30am. The monster is on the porch with the vi talking about something I wasn't interested in listening to. I was obviously ready with pocketbook on my shoulder and sweater jacket on my arm. She seemed a little cold, but I didn't bother in asking what her problem was. She waits a bit and lets it get somewhat awkward before looking at me and asking "So are you ready or you want to wait a bit and grab something for breakfast?"
What part of me standing here with jacket and bag gave you in the impression I wanted breakfast?
So off we go!
Guess where we went first?
Come on....you can figure it out...
That's right!
The trusty, thorn in my side, bane of my present existence....The Salvation Army!
Just walking into this place makes me itchy. But, she's like a kid in a candy store. Oooo-ing and Aaaaa-ing at every turn.
Gasping "Oh Melis...Look at this! $1.00!!" this was at almost every yellow ticketed item, ugly or not.
Then she starts chatting with the employees. They know her by name. Holy F this is embarrassing.
She finally calms down and bolts to the jean rack. "You take that side and I'll take the other!"
Off we go.
She's pulling jean after jean off the rack and filling the mini carriage. I've gotten half way and found nothing.
Of course this is clearly me revolting and refusing to chose any worn/used pair of jeans. Damn my head is itchy.
Finally I see one pair I can tolerate and I take it off the rack. She sees this and has almost a victorious smile on her face. Crap.
We meet in the middle and she then has me move to the hideous shirt rack located directly behind the worn/used jean rack.
I, obviously and purposely, find nothing.
She has me go to the changing room which is a closet next to the cashiers' stand. Now let me explain this ridiculous scenario.
This room is legit a closet with a saloon style door which is clearly broken and needs to be rigged to stay closed. There are men standing in line and even though I am beginning to be proud of what my mama gave me, I don't chose to just show it off to the world.
I pushed and shoved at the doors until I made them stay shut.
I try on the sad pile of jeans and low and behold....none fit over my voluptuous behind!
Except the one pair I chose.
So I step out of the room to my mother staring hopefully at me. "These fit."
"Oh great! My turn!"
Sigh...I wait. God damn I'm itchy!
Finally we pay and leave.
Off to a real store...Fashion Bug.
Amazingly, since I left the Army, my itching has stopped.
I load up on jeans and shirts at the Bug!
She starts to go nuts...shoes, shirts, jeans, shorts, etc..."What else do you need?"
We get to the cashier who makes sure we are wearing green so we get 20% extra off. She then proceeds to talk my mother into opening a secondary charge to get more off the purchase. Way to spend money you don't need to monster!
I walk out feeling great! Mel 1...Monster 0
We drive over to Sonic for lunch and as we wait she turns to me and says:
"Since you didn't bitch today I'm going to let you have more of your bonus."
What? Did she really just say that?
Here girl! Here's your treat!
Groan....
I ignore her.
All in all...not a bad day. No arguing, no real annoyance.
Good days make me stop and rethink that maybe this isn't so bad, but then reality always comes back and destroys you all over again.
Tuesday, March 15, 2011
Yup, no shit...
So not too much has been going on in the cave the last few days, but I will say the monster makes me scratch my head in confusion.
So she had requested on Friday night that we cancel our little trip to the Salvation Army for this coming Thursday, but this morning I get an email from her:
Do you want to go Thursday shopping/lunch?
Or hold off until you decide what you are going to do?
Love mom xo
Um, really? So after deciding not to go in this dramatic crying tantrum Friday night, she then gives me a "decision" to make on Saturday, she now,all of a sudden, wants to kiss and make up? You would think I would be used to this by now. My life with the monster has been exactly this. She says one thing and a day later she changes her mind. Always, never failing. She is one hard core opinionated, moody, controlling, my way or the highway, can lay on the guilt better than anyone I know, mega monster!
The best thing about all of this is catching her doing something she tells me not to do. For instance, she wants me to not spend my money foolishly. But when she goes out with me anywhere that story changes. She had requested to go with me to the spa a week ago. Once there she kept asking me to try the shampoo/conditioner, maybe get a pedicure, get my eyebrows done, etc. WTF?! I had enough money for what I came for; I didn't plan for anything else. She talked me into getting the shampoo/conditioner, but then started offering to pay for everything else. Looking back I should have went with it. Maybe said how much I needed a hair cut, color, manicure, massage. Crap! I screwed myself. Oh well, I was trying to responsible and not over-spend. Hmmm, weird...since I'm brainless with money.
Now, today was a village idiot kind of day. I could feel that shovel in my hand.
After getting under my skin on Monday with some bullshit, which I will not go into here, today he proceeds to piss me off a little more.
When I moved in the vi requested that I do not use the house phone cus he does not want the bill to be any higher. Bills are his life. He can not talk about anything else until the summer comes and then it's bills, the lawn, and how the neighbors are copying him.
So the deal was I can use the house phone once a day at 12:30pm to talk with my bestie on her lunch break. It has not changed since I got here in November. Almost daily, he gets on the phone during my conversation "forgetting" I am on it.
Today, he picks up and starts dialing. It's so loud that it deafens both Cindi and I. I start yelling through the phone "Dad!! DAD!!!!"
After he finishes dialing, he puts the phone to his ear "Hello?"
"Dad! I'm on the phone!"
"Why?"
"Cus it's not 1p yet..." said in a ahhhh hello dumb ass? voice.
"Oh OK." then he hangs up.
Well, sometimes my conversation goes over the allotted time by about 15 minutes as it did today because once Cin and I start talking it's usually hard to stop us.
1:15pm arrives and the phone is picked up yet again.
"Hello?"
"Dad, I'm still on the phone."
"It's after 1p"
"Yup, no shit"
He hangs up.
Cindi is laughing; I'm grinding my teeth trying not to scream.
What am I supposed to do with these people? Their not old enough for a nursing home yet and I can't kill them. Sigh.
So she had requested on Friday night that we cancel our little trip to the Salvation Army for this coming Thursday, but this morning I get an email from her:
Do you want to go Thursday shopping/lunch?
Or hold off until you decide what you are going to do?
Love mom xo
Um, really? So after deciding not to go in this dramatic crying tantrum Friday night, she then gives me a "decision" to make on Saturday, she now,all of a sudden, wants to kiss and make up? You would think I would be used to this by now. My life with the monster has been exactly this. She says one thing and a day later she changes her mind. Always, never failing. She is one hard core opinionated, moody, controlling, my way or the highway, can lay on the guilt better than anyone I know, mega monster!
The best thing about all of this is catching her doing something she tells me not to do. For instance, she wants me to not spend my money foolishly. But when she goes out with me anywhere that story changes. She had requested to go with me to the spa a week ago. Once there she kept asking me to try the shampoo/conditioner, maybe get a pedicure, get my eyebrows done, etc. WTF?! I had enough money for what I came for; I didn't plan for anything else. She talked me into getting the shampoo/conditioner, but then started offering to pay for everything else. Looking back I should have went with it. Maybe said how much I needed a hair cut, color, manicure, massage. Crap! I screwed myself. Oh well, I was trying to responsible and not over-spend. Hmmm, weird...since I'm brainless with money.
Now, today was a village idiot kind of day. I could feel that shovel in my hand.
After getting under my skin on Monday with some bullshit, which I will not go into here, today he proceeds to piss me off a little more.
When I moved in the vi requested that I do not use the house phone cus he does not want the bill to be any higher. Bills are his life. He can not talk about anything else until the summer comes and then it's bills, the lawn, and how the neighbors are copying him.
So the deal was I can use the house phone once a day at 12:30pm to talk with my bestie on her lunch break. It has not changed since I got here in November. Almost daily, he gets on the phone during my conversation "forgetting" I am on it.
Today, he picks up and starts dialing. It's so loud that it deafens both Cindi and I. I start yelling through the phone "Dad!! DAD!!!!"
After he finishes dialing, he puts the phone to his ear "Hello?"
"Dad! I'm on the phone!"
"Why?"
"Cus it's not 1p yet..." said in a ahhhh hello dumb ass? voice.
"Oh OK." then he hangs up.
Well, sometimes my conversation goes over the allotted time by about 15 minutes as it did today because once Cin and I start talking it's usually hard to stop us.
1:15pm arrives and the phone is picked up yet again.
"Hello?"
"Dad, I'm still on the phone."
"It's after 1p"
"Yup, no shit"
He hangs up.
Cindi is laughing; I'm grinding my teeth trying not to scream.
What am I supposed to do with these people? Their not old enough for a nursing home yet and I can't kill them. Sigh.
Sunday, March 13, 2011
Decisions, Decisions
Saturday morning had started off pretty normal, which is listening with ninja ears to any sign the monster has returned home from shopping so I can run and help her with bags before she has more ammo to throw at me. She came home and I helped her; noticing of course a slight coldness coming from her. I chose to ignore this. Finally she turns to me and says "I want you out by May."
Well hot damn!!! I won the lottery!
Nope.
After agreeing with no attitude or fight, like I would anyway, I went upstairs to get ready for work.
She came up as I'm tying my sneakers and started to ask me if I was OK with her decision. I said yea. This was followed by the following quotes:
"So your going to just be OK with what anyone tells you to do?" ummm...it's your house and you asked me to leave...
"Your not going to fight for what you want?" I want to leave so what fight do I have?
"You can't live on your own cus you don't have the brains....the brains financially." Thanks for calling me dumb. Warm and fuzzies incoming.
"If you don't fight for what you want then you are certainly not nor ever will be a strong woman." This pissed me off. She has no idea what I have been going through the last year nor what my life is like right now especially living with her! The strength I've had to have...makes me fucking Wonder Woman!
Anyway...she then gave me a time line. I had to come home after work and tell her what I wanted to do.
I ran out the door, hopped in my car, and cried myself to work.
I come home at midnight to her waiting for me. JOY.
She asks what I want to do and I requested some more time. She thinks this makes me immature. I told her actually it makes me the opposite. I am not going to jump into making a life decision within 8 hours of working. I need some time. This turns into a heated argument and again I'm called brainless, immature, and I am in need of training.
I fight back hard. Make some great arguments and shut her ass up a few times. Nothing like fighting with your mom and catching her when she thinks she makes sense, but in reality makes no sense.
She gave me 3 options to choose from:
1. To leave with only the money I have now, no "training", no extra help
2. Leave by a certain date, save up a little more cash, still no "training", but more cash
3. Stay. Keep my mouth shut and let her "train" me so I can be like her and want for nothing when I finally move out.
Well, 3 is out. Why do I ever want to be her? Wrong wording mother!
Yes, she is fantastic with money. I will give her that, but she's crazy. She admitted it herself during the argument...acceptance, it's the first step of recovery.
So here I am. Thinking, decision making needed. It's shit or get off the pot time.
I have to give an answer by this coming Saturday.
What to do, what to do.
Well hot damn!!! I won the lottery!
Nope.
After agreeing with no attitude or fight, like I would anyway, I went upstairs to get ready for work.
She came up as I'm tying my sneakers and started to ask me if I was OK with her decision. I said yea. This was followed by the following quotes:
"So your going to just be OK with what anyone tells you to do?" ummm...it's your house and you asked me to leave...
"Your not going to fight for what you want?" I want to leave so what fight do I have?
"You can't live on your own cus you don't have the brains....the brains financially." Thanks for calling me dumb. Warm and fuzzies incoming.
"If you don't fight for what you want then you are certainly not nor ever will be a strong woman." This pissed me off. She has no idea what I have been going through the last year nor what my life is like right now especially living with her! The strength I've had to have...makes me fucking Wonder Woman!
Anyway...she then gave me a time line. I had to come home after work and tell her what I wanted to do.
I ran out the door, hopped in my car, and cried myself to work.
I come home at midnight to her waiting for me. JOY.
She asks what I want to do and I requested some more time. She thinks this makes me immature. I told her actually it makes me the opposite. I am not going to jump into making a life decision within 8 hours of working. I need some time. This turns into a heated argument and again I'm called brainless, immature, and I am in need of training.
I fight back hard. Make some great arguments and shut her ass up a few times. Nothing like fighting with your mom and catching her when she thinks she makes sense, but in reality makes no sense.
She gave me 3 options to choose from:
1. To leave with only the money I have now, no "training", no extra help
2. Leave by a certain date, save up a little more cash, still no "training", but more cash
3. Stay. Keep my mouth shut and let her "train" me so I can be like her and want for nothing when I finally move out.
Well, 3 is out. Why do I ever want to be her? Wrong wording mother!
Yes, she is fantastic with money. I will give her that, but she's crazy. She admitted it herself during the argument...acceptance, it's the first step of recovery.
So here I am. Thinking, decision making needed. It's shit or get off the pot time.
I have to give an answer by this coming Saturday.
What to do, what to do.
Saturday, March 12, 2011
Ambush
So last night tea never happened. I come home to find the village idiot still home, sitting at the table, and looking through the newspaper for apartments. I say hello and remove my coat then place my stuff on the stairs. The monster was in the bathroom and the first words out of her mouth..."Don't worry about having tea. he's here too late so he saved you." First clue...she's in a "mood".
Damn it!
I never know what to expect when I see her. She changes moods like underwear. It's stressing to say the least. I walk back into the kitchen in a daze of confusion. The vi opens his mouth, bad move. "So when are you moving out because I think it would be good if you stayed here for awhile to save as much money as you can."
The monster is thinking differently and says, 4 times in a row, that she knows I won't stay and it's for the best. "What she should do and what she will do doesn't matter anymore."
What did I do now??? Seriously? Did I set something on fire that I wasn't aware of? What is going on?
So the vi keeps asking the same question and the monster keeps answering the same way until he shushes her stating that he wants my answer not hers. I simply say that I'm not staying forever, I'm 32 and would like to live on my own.
Well I'm a dumb ass. That opened the flood gates. The monster starts in with a barrage of how I will never be able to live on my own, I don't know what I'm doing with money, I should be like her but I never will be and that is why I will never live without a roommate, I can't live with roommates because I can't handle living with people, she knows I can't stand coming home to do the bills with her and she doesn't understand that; I should be happy and want to learn from her, be like her. Really Mr. Miyagi? This grasshopper has her own thoughts and ways she wants to do things. I have never wanted to be like you!!! There is a very good reason for this! Your a crazypants!
I reminded her that I used to live in an apartment with 5 people. I survived there for a few years. She, of course, has an answer for that saying I couldn't stand it there. Well I think living there for a few years is a pretty good example that I can handle roommates. ARGH!
In between all this the vi is just sitting there. She turns to him and tells him to get up and get his fat ass to work.
Ahhh the joys of family.
He leaves and I follow to move my truck. We get to the cars and he turns to me saying she has been like this since she got home. Oh goody and here I thought it was just me.
I go back into the house, fighting the urge to grab my clothes and run.
I'm tired, wanna get away from her as quickly as possible, but I sit. I stay around her for a full half hour. Small talk, watch her get her tea and then finally I say I want to go and get in bed.
I walk, sorry, run upstairs...
Later she comes up and takes a bath, comes in to say goodnight and asks if we can cancel our plans for this Thursday.
This Thursday was supposed to be an adventure with her into the world of Salvation Army. She is obsessed with this place. Also feels that if I don't purchased certain clothing items aka jeans from here I will be broke and will never be able to afford clothes again. I personally hate the army. I don't want clothes from there it skeeves me the hell out!!
So, to humor her and stop the arguing about this I agreed to give it a try. We made plans and also decided to have lunch that day as well. Now she wants to cancel.
I asked why and her reason is that she doesn't want to battle me any longer. She is giving up. She leaves my room crying and closes the door. With a roll of my eyes and a deep breathe I follow her. I open my door and she has already barricaded herself in her bedroom. I give up myself...that sounds like a great idea.
I go back to bed and let her be. I can't play these games anymore.
I have not argued with her in a few weeks so where the battling comes from...beats the shit out of me.
So now I sit here typing away and praying to God she doesn't come home until I after I have left for work.
She has a routine. Every Saturday she goes out with my nana to the army, dollar store, and food shopping. If she comes home before I leave...there's a 50/50 chance she will be silent and cold.
This is such a great way to live...I know you all are super jealous.
Damn it!
I never know what to expect when I see her. She changes moods like underwear. It's stressing to say the least. I walk back into the kitchen in a daze of confusion. The vi opens his mouth, bad move. "So when are you moving out because I think it would be good if you stayed here for awhile to save as much money as you can."
The monster is thinking differently and says, 4 times in a row, that she knows I won't stay and it's for the best. "What she should do and what she will do doesn't matter anymore."
What did I do now??? Seriously? Did I set something on fire that I wasn't aware of? What is going on?
So the vi keeps asking the same question and the monster keeps answering the same way until he shushes her stating that he wants my answer not hers. I simply say that I'm not staying forever, I'm 32 and would like to live on my own.
Well I'm a dumb ass. That opened the flood gates. The monster starts in with a barrage of how I will never be able to live on my own, I don't know what I'm doing with money, I should be like her but I never will be and that is why I will never live without a roommate, I can't live with roommates because I can't handle living with people, she knows I can't stand coming home to do the bills with her and she doesn't understand that; I should be happy and want to learn from her, be like her. Really Mr. Miyagi? This grasshopper has her own thoughts and ways she wants to do things. I have never wanted to be like you!!! There is a very good reason for this! Your a crazypants!
I reminded her that I used to live in an apartment with 5 people. I survived there for a few years. She, of course, has an answer for that saying I couldn't stand it there. Well I think living there for a few years is a pretty good example that I can handle roommates. ARGH!
In between all this the vi is just sitting there. She turns to him and tells him to get up and get his fat ass to work.
Ahhh the joys of family.
He leaves and I follow to move my truck. We get to the cars and he turns to me saying she has been like this since she got home. Oh goody and here I thought it was just me.
I go back into the house, fighting the urge to grab my clothes and run.
I'm tired, wanna get away from her as quickly as possible, but I sit. I stay around her for a full half hour. Small talk, watch her get her tea and then finally I say I want to go and get in bed.
I walk, sorry, run upstairs...
Later she comes up and takes a bath, comes in to say goodnight and asks if we can cancel our plans for this Thursday.
This Thursday was supposed to be an adventure with her into the world of Salvation Army. She is obsessed with this place. Also feels that if I don't purchased certain clothing items aka jeans from here I will be broke and will never be able to afford clothes again. I personally hate the army. I don't want clothes from there it skeeves me the hell out!!
So, to humor her and stop the arguing about this I agreed to give it a try. We made plans and also decided to have lunch that day as well. Now she wants to cancel.
I asked why and her reason is that she doesn't want to battle me any longer. She is giving up. She leaves my room crying and closes the door. With a roll of my eyes and a deep breathe I follow her. I open my door and she has already barricaded herself in her bedroom. I give up myself...that sounds like a great idea.
I go back to bed and let her be. I can't play these games anymore.
I have not argued with her in a few weeks so where the battling comes from...beats the shit out of me.
So now I sit here typing away and praying to God she doesn't come home until I after I have left for work.
She has a routine. Every Saturday she goes out with my nana to the army, dollar store, and food shopping. If she comes home before I leave...there's a 50/50 chance she will be silent and cold.
This is such a great way to live...I know you all are super jealous.
Friday, March 11, 2011
Tea and Cracker Barrel
So after lots of thinking and friends rooting me on, I have decided to create this blog on my life living with the monster (my mother) and the village idiot (my father). If you don't know me or them for that matter, you might think this is mean, it's not by any means a bashing on my parents. This is a release of aggravation, confusion, stress, and anything else that builds up due to my co-habitation with them. I'm gonna let flow what's in my head so if you lose track just go with it! Those of you who know my parents understand what i'm going through.
I honestly can't figure out how I was able to get through my childhood/teenage years living under the same roof. Maybe I was blinded but how i grew up and just got used to it all. I do remember that once I moved out it took me a bit to realize that every little thing i did wasn't under a microscope nor would i be criticized for decisions i made. 12 blissful years, kinda...out of that house and in the "real" world. It was amazing...FREEDOM! It was sweet. Got an apartment with my boyfriend, he then turned into fiancee, then husband...that only lasted 2 years. Oh well, not upset about my decision by any means...only thing i regret is not saving to get my own place cus here i am...back in the cave.
The cave is a time warp of sorts. No internet, neither can understand how it works...they are amazed you can see moving pictures on it...and cable was unheard of. "Too much money" the village idiot thinks you can go bankrupt with too many tv options. So, I boldly entered and brought with me the present day. I brought the internet, HBO, and Showtime. First, the vi and monster thought holes would be drilled all along the inside of the house for the internet. "They can't drill holes in wall!" Trying to explain holes were not necessary...torture.
Monthly complaints and huffing/puffing comes from the vi when the cable bill comes in...so i'm learning selective hearing.
The monster is the real test of my strength and endurance. I live in what she calls a "training academy". I have to follow her rules when it comes to my life, my job, and my money. My life, well she can try, but i don't tell her shit. She doesn't need to know much and i dont' think it's really any of her business.
My job, well...her rule about that is if i come home with either a migraine or back pain..the computer stays off and i go to bed. My thoughts, she out of her f-ing mind! Migraine, yea obviously! I can't handle light, noise, sometimes movement kills me. Back pain...um, i have to lie with my legs up on pillows and stare at the dark ceiling...this is her preferred action. NOT MINE! I can have the tv on, but not the computer sitting there next to me? Hmmmmm, ok. Small aggravations, but to me they are ridiculous. I'm a grown woman...last thing i need is the gestapo on my ass about coming home sick or in pain.
As for my money, well she wants to get me to where i need to be finacially. Perfect! No so much. I appreciate the time, knowledge, extra cash building up in my savings, but i don't need to sit every other friday night counting my money in front of her so she knows i haven't touched it and also bringing home my savings statement after a deposit so the vi can track the progress and also make sure i'm not touching it.
It's suffocating to say the least, but this is just some of the backstory as to why i am doing this blog.
So, this isn't going to be strictly ranting...it's going to be day to day comments, situations, and thoughts from and about the monster and vi. So what the hell is with the title you ask?
Well, first story...the monster wants to have tea tonight when i get home. She believes sitting and having tea is a cure all to any issues in life. So at midnight...after listening to people complain in my ear all day...i will be sitting with the monster sipping tea and creating small talk...i'm exhausted already just thinking about it.
The village idiot however is hoping to become the newest dishwasher at the Cracker Barrel. This is fine since he is going stir crazy during the day. He has an over night job on the weekends playing security guard at a truck stop/depot thingy. He had said to me that he was applying for a chef position...after stating the obvious lack of chef knowledge...he said no, i'm going for a host position so i can tell ppl they can sit where i damn well put them. OK.
The man is a compulsive liar.
So after finally getting the truth out of him i realized...day job? really? Peace and quiet before heading to work? Really? Could this be true? OH Sweet Merciful Jesus please get the job!!!!!!!!
I'll keep ya posted :)
I honestly can't figure out how I was able to get through my childhood/teenage years living under the same roof. Maybe I was blinded but how i grew up and just got used to it all. I do remember that once I moved out it took me a bit to realize that every little thing i did wasn't under a microscope nor would i be criticized for decisions i made. 12 blissful years, kinda...out of that house and in the "real" world. It was amazing...FREEDOM! It was sweet. Got an apartment with my boyfriend, he then turned into fiancee, then husband...that only lasted 2 years. Oh well, not upset about my decision by any means...only thing i regret is not saving to get my own place cus here i am...back in the cave.
The cave is a time warp of sorts. No internet, neither can understand how it works...they are amazed you can see moving pictures on it...and cable was unheard of. "Too much money" the village idiot thinks you can go bankrupt with too many tv options. So, I boldly entered and brought with me the present day. I brought the internet, HBO, and Showtime. First, the vi and monster thought holes would be drilled all along the inside of the house for the internet. "They can't drill holes in wall!" Trying to explain holes were not necessary...torture.
Monthly complaints and huffing/puffing comes from the vi when the cable bill comes in...so i'm learning selective hearing.
The monster is the real test of my strength and endurance. I live in what she calls a "training academy". I have to follow her rules when it comes to my life, my job, and my money. My life, well she can try, but i don't tell her shit. She doesn't need to know much and i dont' think it's really any of her business.
My job, well...her rule about that is if i come home with either a migraine or back pain..the computer stays off and i go to bed. My thoughts, she out of her f-ing mind! Migraine, yea obviously! I can't handle light, noise, sometimes movement kills me. Back pain...um, i have to lie with my legs up on pillows and stare at the dark ceiling...this is her preferred action. NOT MINE! I can have the tv on, but not the computer sitting there next to me? Hmmmmm, ok. Small aggravations, but to me they are ridiculous. I'm a grown woman...last thing i need is the gestapo on my ass about coming home sick or in pain.
As for my money, well she wants to get me to where i need to be finacially. Perfect! No so much. I appreciate the time, knowledge, extra cash building up in my savings, but i don't need to sit every other friday night counting my money in front of her so she knows i haven't touched it and also bringing home my savings statement after a deposit so the vi can track the progress and also make sure i'm not touching it.
It's suffocating to say the least, but this is just some of the backstory as to why i am doing this blog.
So, this isn't going to be strictly ranting...it's going to be day to day comments, situations, and thoughts from and about the monster and vi. So what the hell is with the title you ask?
Well, first story...the monster wants to have tea tonight when i get home. She believes sitting and having tea is a cure all to any issues in life. So at midnight...after listening to people complain in my ear all day...i will be sitting with the monster sipping tea and creating small talk...i'm exhausted already just thinking about it.
The village idiot however is hoping to become the newest dishwasher at the Cracker Barrel. This is fine since he is going stir crazy during the day. He has an over night job on the weekends playing security guard at a truck stop/depot thingy. He had said to me that he was applying for a chef position...after stating the obvious lack of chef knowledge...he said no, i'm going for a host position so i can tell ppl they can sit where i damn well put them. OK.
The man is a compulsive liar.
So after finally getting the truth out of him i realized...day job? really? Peace and quiet before heading to work? Really? Could this be true? OH Sweet Merciful Jesus please get the job!!!!!!!!
I'll keep ya posted :)
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