Yup, no shit...

So not too much has been going on in the cave the last few days, but I will say the monster makes me scratch my head in confusion.
So she had requested on Friday night that we cancel our little trip to the Salvation Army for this coming Thursday, but this morning I get an email from her:

Do you want to go Thursday shopping/lunch?
Or hold off until you decide what you are going to do?

Love mom xo

Um, really?  So after deciding not to go in this dramatic crying tantrum Friday night, she then gives me a "decision" to make on Saturday, she now,all of a sudden, wants to kiss and make up?  You would think I would be used to this by now.  My life with the monster has been exactly this.  She says one thing and a day later she changes her mind.  Always, never failing.  She is one hard core opinionated, moody, controlling, my way or the highway, can lay on the guilt better than anyone I know, mega monster!
The best thing about all of this is catching her doing something she tells me not to do.  For instance, she wants me to not spend my money foolishly.  But when she goes out with me anywhere that story changes.  She had requested to go with me to the spa a week ago.  Once there she kept asking me to try the shampoo/conditioner, maybe get a pedicure, get my eyebrows done, etc.  WTF?!  I had enough money for what I came for; I didn't plan for anything else.  She talked me into getting the shampoo/conditioner, but then started offering to pay for everything else.  Looking back I should have went with it.  Maybe said how much I needed a hair cut, color, manicure, massage.  Crap! I screwed myself.  Oh well, I was trying to responsible and not over-spend.  Hmmm, weird...since I'm brainless with money.
Now, today was a village idiot kind of day.  I could feel that shovel in my hand.
After getting under my skin on Monday with some bullshit, which I will not go into here, today he proceeds to piss me off a little more.
When I moved in the vi requested that I do not use the house phone cus he does not want the bill to be any higher.  Bills are his life.  He can not talk about anything else until the summer comes and then it's bills, the lawn, and how the neighbors are copying him.
So the deal was I can use the house phone once a day at 12:30pm to talk with my bestie on her lunch break.  It has not changed since I got here in November.  Almost daily, he gets on the phone during my conversation "forgetting" I am on it.
Today, he picks up and starts dialing.  It's so loud that it deafens both Cindi and I.  I start yelling through the phone "Dad!! DAD!!!!"
After he finishes dialing, he puts the phone to his ear "Hello?"
"Dad! I'm on the phone!"
"Why?"
"Cus it's not 1p yet..." said in a ahhhh hello dumb ass? voice.
"Oh OK."  then he hangs up.
Well, sometimes my conversation goes over the allotted time by about 15 minutes as it did today because once Cin and I start talking it's usually hard to stop us.
1:15pm arrives and the phone is picked up yet again.
"Hello?"
"Dad, I'm still on the phone."
"It's after 1p"
"Yup, no shit"
He hangs up.
Cindi is laughing; I'm grinding my teeth trying not to scream.
What am I supposed to do with these people?  Their not old enough for a nursing home yet and I can't kill them.  Sigh.